Your Body Is Smart and Loves You

That your body will hold on to whatever you're not ready to feel, yet, was one of the most interesting and inspiring lessons I learned when I began training in body-centered psychotherapy. This is partly because I know what it's like to try not to feel and just "move on" or "forget about it" or "let the past be the past". When I started doing my own work, I returned to my body to find lots of answers to my current problems. I found a lot of unresolved stuff living in my body that was making me unhappy in my present-day life. According to my body, all my feelings made sense. My body is smart, it won't let go of anything that made me feel sad or hurt or scared or overwhelmed. My body loves me, it will hold my feelings for me until I am safe to feel them.

Always, if "emotional safety" (validation, empathy, compassion) exists consistently and predictably enough (about 70% of the time), we get to feel our feelings. When those conditions aren't present, or aren't present consistently or predictably enough, our bodies automatically shut our feelings down so that we can survive. You might've heard of "freeze", "fight", or "flight" - these are the ways our bodies shut down. But it doesn't end there. After the shut down is over and you have survived the moment, your body will find a place to store your feelings in thoughts, emotions and body sensations so that you can move on with life. And there in your body they shall stay until you find a safe place and safe people to feel it with. Unaddressed, our stored stuff seeps out sideways causing problems like depression, anxiety, relationship issues, and addictions (to name a few).

Your body is smart and loves you. Create the conditions for validation ("you're allowed to feel whatever you want"), empathy ("I understand that feeling and it makes sense"), and compassion ("I love you no matter what") and the ledger that has been building with a list of feelings and memories and hurts and haunts will feel safe and allowed to unfold.

You deserve it. Your body says so.

xo,

Haley